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I always use practical parenthesis when dirty-talking". everynametaken Send a noteboard - 31/03/2010 08:51:49 AM
Taken from Nadine Gordimer's 1970 novel, A Guest of Honour:

It was all understood, between them. He undressed her and took her to his bed in that bare, male room which he had never shared with a woman; at once a schoolboy's room and a lonely old man's room, the room left behind him and the room somewhere ahead of him in his life. But the narrow bed was full again, he was full again, and it was all there, the body that had run shaking into the water, the big legs shuddering, the breasts swaying. This time he saw every part of it, watched the nipples turn to dark marbles rolling in his fingers, found the thin, shining skin with a vein like an underground stream running beneath it, where the springy soft hair ended and the rise of the thigh began, had revealed to him the aureole of mauve-brown skin where the cheeks of the backside divided at the end of her spine. All this and more, before he hung above her on his knees and she said with her practical parenthesis, "It's all right" (knowing how to look after herself, trusted not to make any trouble) and she reached up under his body and took the whole business, the heavy bunch of sex, in her hands, expressing the strangeness, the marvel of otherness, between the two bodies, and then he entered all that he had looked on, and burst the bounds of his body, in hers (p. 238)


First, did the author seriously try to make a vein sexy? Ugh.

Second, parenthesis in a sex scene? Did we need the extra information in that manner or could the author have just used another sentence (something the author does not seem short on).

Third, what in God's name is "she said with her practical parenthesis"? What a weird phrase.

Fourth, "took the whole business"? Really? I've heard of someone giving someone else "the business" but taking it and taking it whole?

This writing is bad enough that I considered it is a translation and a poor one at that. Please tell me it is a horrible translation. Yes?
But wine was the great assassin of both tradition and propriety...
-Brandon Sanderson, The Way of Kings
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How bad would you rate this sex scene? - 31/03/2010 08:25:07 AM 902 Views
- 31/03/2010 08:39:43 AM 634 Views
I gave the title above the quote *NM* - 31/03/2010 08:53:01 AM 225 Views
I always use practical parenthesis when dirty-talking". - 31/03/2010 08:51:49 AM 645 Views
I wish she had talked about "The Situation" - 31/03/2010 08:54:44 AM 623 Views
Hey! Veins can be sexy! - 02/04/2010 12:51:58 AM 552 Views
That's outstanding. - 31/03/2010 12:40:41 PM 602 Views
maybe the editor was out of practice *NM* - 31/03/2010 01:10:42 PM 225 Views
Re: That's outstanding. - 05/04/2010 03:00:28 PM 527 Views
I read a lot of sex scenes. - 31/03/2010 02:44:08 PM 619 Views
Ha! - 31/03/2010 08:31:53 PM 526 Views
Wow. Pretty bad. - 31/03/2010 03:08:21 PM 488 Views
I'm gonna be the dissenting voice and say, not that bad. - 31/03/2010 03:34:25 PM 481 Views
In context, it was even worse. Trust me. - 31/03/2010 08:30:29 PM 503 Views
I seem to recall us talking about something like this... - 02/04/2010 12:53:05 AM 591 Views
Bad command or file name. *NM* - 01/04/2010 09:13:40 AM 232 Views
I was hoping that it was a bad translation *NM* - 02/04/2010 04:09:33 AM 239 Views
HAHAHAhahaha. - 02/04/2010 09:28:04 AM 504 Views
- 02/04/2010 09:48:51 AM 504 Views
I'm kind of with Legolas. This just reminds me of modernists. - 05/04/2010 10:04:35 PM 520 Views

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