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I actually had to read it 3 times to even get your point. The "he said" or "she mentioned" portion of dialogue normally doesn't even register with me. I am too focused on the conversation itself to care much (that is what is critical to the story, not the dialogue "format".

I didn't much further in Mistborn, and it gave me a really bad feeling about the forthcoming WoT finale trilogy. The irony is that I am only able to articulate the specifics of Sanderson's flaws because I hated his treatment of WoT. I didn't really know what he was doing wrong, but I knew WoT like the back of my hand and what Sanderson wrote was not what I was used to reading. Discussions with the more enlightened readers on this site, particularly DomA (most of the other "book snobs" having matured far beyond having anything constructive or useful to say about Sanderson's attempt)helped me catch this kind of thing. It has also helped me put my finger on things I dislike about Game of Thrones, in comparison to A Song of Ice & Fire.

I still can't really tell good writing from bad, but thanks in large part to Jordan setting me up to plow through three long books written by Brandon Sanderson, I am better able to pick out differences in style, and spot bad things.