But not really - as I said from the start, there are certainly good parts in the paragraph, but I can't say your comments about the points I raised really convinced me. The thing about stuttering if you're nervous, or that the awkward digressions tell us something more about the narrator - okay, that would make sense, if the paragraphs were told from the boy's own perspective, telling his backstory. If that is meant to be the case, though, I guess it's too subtle for me, as it looks much more like an omniscient narrator to me - apart from the bits that take Khanoom's own PoV.

If you don't mind really going into the details, I still don't see where the "sure" comes in in those two sentences - it's really just that word that throws me, take it out and it's fine. And that's not criticism so much as genuine puzzlement - in the other cases we discussed, I found things ugly or awkward, but in this case I simply don't know what it's supposed to mean or how it's supposed to make sense, quite apart from stylistic considerations. I'd be inclined to consider it a printing error, if reading this book on my own.

"Nobody imagined a dying man could produce the seed of another child, and yet. But a child like that, sure(...)".

Sure what? Sure, people do imagine that a dying man could produce a child like that, just not any other kind of child? That's the explanation that seems to make the most sense, but it still reads very oddly, following right after the "and yet".