I love talking to perfect strangers - Edit 1
Before modification by imlad at 15/09/2011 05:52:27 PM
Unless of course it is an extremely good looking woman, then I get kinda shy (damn, I still have that problem at 38!) and will be more cautious in talking to her.
But if it is someone (beautiful woman or not) reading a book I've read, or even just in the F/SF genres, I will often attempt to strike up some sort of conversation, if there is an opening.
If I am in a public place and I see someone reading (that is not obviously totally immersed in the book; you can often tell because they will occasionally scan their surroundings if they aren't immersed completely) then I will usually ask what they are reading if the cover isn't visible. If the cover is visible, and it is something I've read I'll ask them what they think of it so far, or what scene they are at. If it is a genre piece I haven't read, I'll ask them if they recommend it, and try to get a conversation started that way.
But you have to watch for the subtle, and not so subtle, clues of annoyance at being interrupted, and if you spot them, just say "I'll let you get back to the book, enjoy!" and smile and let them be.
EDIT to add: Ironically, I'm more able to start up a conversation with that beautiful woman in a public place (shyness be damned) than I am at a party or a bar (but then, people usually aren't reading books at either of those locations). I guess this stems from the fact that at bars or parties, when a guy starts talking to a woman (or vice versa) it is all part of the process of trying to pick someone up (at which point I get this feeling like she's thinking "what a creep, all he wants to talk to me for is a chance to get into my pants, as if I would let HIM do that" ). But when elsewhere, it feels like it is just the friendly thing to do.
To the question in the title: Yes. To the one just above: No.
No way to know beforehand.
I stated it above. Yes. I've never made a friend because I've never done it in the "beeline" style you describe. That can be creepy. Instead, try subtlety. I don't go out of my way to make conversation, instead only saying something if I'm already near.
Yes. It's either been a short conversation or one of several minutes, but never a bad experience.
And to answer the overall theme of the post: Speaking to a stranger because you know you both have a common interest or experience is about as normal a reason to speak to a stranger as there is, and I frankly don't understand why you needed to ask at all.
it's questioning whether it's a normal reason to, certainly more reasonable than approaching a stranger and asking what colour their underpants are and how they like it in bed, but still talking to strangers is often outside the social norm unless you're both thrown into an enclosed space for a long period of time
But if it is someone (beautiful woman or not) reading a book I've read, or even just in the F/SF genres, I will often attempt to strike up some sort of conversation, if there is an opening.
If I am in a public place and I see someone reading (that is not obviously totally immersed in the book; you can often tell because they will occasionally scan their surroundings if they aren't immersed completely) then I will usually ask what they are reading if the cover isn't visible. If the cover is visible, and it is something I've read I'll ask them what they think of it so far, or what scene they are at. If it is a genre piece I haven't read, I'll ask them if they recommend it, and try to get a conversation started that way.
But you have to watch for the subtle, and not so subtle, clues of annoyance at being interrupted, and if you spot them, just say "I'll let you get back to the book, enjoy!" and smile and let them be.
EDIT to add: Ironically, I'm more able to start up a conversation with that beautiful woman in a public place (shyness be damned) than I am at a party or a bar (but then, people usually aren't reading books at either of those locations). I guess this stems from the fact that at bars or parties, when a guy starts talking to a woman (or vice versa) it is all part of the process of trying to pick someone up (at which point I get this feeling like she's thinking "what a creep, all he wants to talk to me for is a chance to get into my pants, as if I would let HIM do that" ). But when elsewhere, it feels like it is just the friendly thing to do.
or is it just weird?
To the question in the title: Yes. To the one just above: No.
now if it was the other way around i'd probably embrace it, i come on a book forum i enjoy discussing the finer details of fantasy epic, but would he be of a similar disposition? it wasn't worth the risk of him forcing a smile, humouring me with small talk and then dismissing me with a slight air of embarrassment and then enduring a week of passing each other around the pool and doing that raised eyebrow nod of acknowledgment to each other
No way to know beforehand.
so what's your opinion? ever made an obvious attempt at conversation with a person you see reading something you've read? and this isn't like when you're both in a book shop or a similar established ground for literary discourse. this is where you've crossed the expanse of a park or made for someone where they've noticed your approach and regarded you with wary anxiety as you've out of nowhere made an uninvited beeline for their reading solitude. were you stone walled or did you make a new friend? or do you have a more subtle tactic of perhaps edging closer, leaning over and being like...don't you just hate <insert character name> too?
I stated it above. Yes. I've never made a friend because I've never done it in the "beeline" style you describe. That can be creepy. Instead, try subtlety. I don't go out of my way to make conversation, instead only saying something if I'm already near.
similarly have you ever been received such attentions, how was the experience?
Yes. It's either been a short conversation or one of several minutes, but never a bad experience.
And to answer the overall theme of the post: Speaking to a stranger because you know you both have a common interest or experience is about as normal a reason to speak to a stranger as there is, and I frankly don't understand why you needed to ask at all.
it's questioning whether it's a normal reason to, certainly more reasonable than approaching a stranger and asking what colour their underpants are and how they like it in bed, but still talking to strangers is often outside the social norm unless you're both thrown into an enclosed space for a long period of time