I love the mall. I really, really do. My name is Danielle and I'm a sixteen year old mallrat. A flamboyant mallrat apparently, but that's another story.

1. Do you go to the mall? How often? (if you don’t go to the mall, stop now and go to the mall!)

I refuse to go to Malls. Just like I refuse to go to Wal-Mart. Sorry, being stuck in a huge building with hordes of mindless consumers just doesn't sound like fun to me.

2. Do you like the mall or do you just go because it has a lot of stores?

I do not like the mall. I do not go to the mall. Commercial Hell is not my desire.

3. Do you have a favorite store that you always hit first?

Shop by internet. That way you're not limited to the pathetic offerings of mainstream fashion.

4. Do you have a store you always hit last?

See above.

5. What’s the longest you’ve ever spent sitting on the floor in an accessory store playing with sparkly jewelry?

Why would I waste time in an accessory store? If you want jewelry, go to a jeweler. But then again, nothing says "yuppie trash" like a $50 piece of shiny plastic...

6. Do you try on clothes you know you will never buy?

Why on earth would I waste my time doing such an inane thing? If I will never buy it, it means it looks like crap. Why would I want to look like crap?

7. Why don’t you buy them?!

Because they look like crap. Why would I spend money on something that looks like crap?

8. Has a blonde 16 year old girl ever run up to you in a clothing store and asked you if her shorts make her look like a sausage?

No, but if she did, I would respond. "No dear, its your fat thighs that make you look like a sausage." and then walk away.

9. You obviously don’t live in Toledo Ohio, do you?

No. I live in Columbus, Ohio.

10. Isn’t the mall heinously overpriced?

Usually. That, and having heinously limited/stale/canned pop culture offerings never make it worth going to.

11. Do you ever just walk around looking at all the people in the mall?

Only if I feel like being nauseated.

12. What is everyone’s obsession with the colors red and pink all of a sudden?!

Sex.

13. Should it bother me that I blew $65 at the mall yesterday on 4 things and cup of coffee?

Yes.

14. But all the stuff was for Prom! You have to spend a lot of money on Prom! Right?

You referred to it as "blew $65". To "Blow Money" is to waste it. You answered your question before you asked it. Proms are expensive, but if you actually purchase things which are classy, and not this rediculous crap that most stores/people push for proms, you can get much more mileage out of the large chunk of cash you spend.

15. Should I go back to the mall today?

No. You should sit at home, on the internet, and do research, trying desperately to understand why all the pop trash at the mall is crap, and learn to better spend your money. Or better yet, educate yourself in general, read a book.

Druegan


He who fights with monsters should be careful lest he thereby become a monster. And if thou gaze long into an abyss, the abyss will also gaze into thee. -- Friedrich Nietzsche