In September of 2000 my husband who I dearly loved and who loved me came out to me. We had a good marrage,people had been jealous of our relationship; we were one anothers best friend. We worked hard together to build a life, one that we would share. I made sacrifices so he could go to collage. It seemed like now that we could start enjoying the fruits of our hard work everything was ending. It seemed that everything we had worked for was coming to an end. My entire life had been wrapped up in my marrige and now it was no more. I had no purpous. I questioned my femininaty. I felt unattractive. I loved him so much, he was my life. I didn't move out of the house until June of 2001 into an apartment with another woman. Never in my life had I lived with a roommate and now I was living with a stranger. At the time I was living out in the country about 45 minutes away from my job. Every day while driving to and from work I'd pray that I'd get into a car accadent, at the same time I was afraid that I WOULD get into an accadent. I hurt so bad I just wanted it to end. I just wanted the pain to stop but I knew I couldn't end it myself; I didn't have the courage, and it would have killed David. For a year at least I felt like I was walking around in a daze, like I was swathed in cotton.
I knew something had to change so I called a girlfriend and asked if she wanted to go out dancing. In a very short time I met lots of cute boys and.....yeah 
I no longer question my femaninity or attractiveness. I do still have a hard time with the fact that I have to live with roommates but, now I am my life. David does give me money every month and takes care of me in other ways too. As a matter of fact he got me my computer. We still love each other and are good friends. I hang out with him and his partner, lol I even spend the holidays at his partners folks house.
Just after David came out to me we found out that he had a recurrance of cancer. It bothers me that it was harder for me to deal with him being gay than him having cancer. Now I just hope that a cure will be found somehow because I can't imagian life with out this wonderful person in it.
Wardered by Crazy Conservative Christian Starbolt
Birthday Twin to Tashmere
Sister Goddess to Kazetaran
CrazedWeasel
OCWIATJ Forever!
