I got this call tonight…
Me: ‘lo?
Freakish Caller: Hey [insert real name].
Me: Hey. What’s up?
FC: I just wanted to let you know that I’m in bed. Naked. Thinking of you.
Me: Wha? Who the [insert expletive] is this?
FC: Sleep tight, baby. [hangs up]
I’m torn between laughter and the sudden urge to vomit. And now I’m afraid to go back to sleep ‘cause I have icky thoughts in my poor, innocent mind. I wish my friends weren't so freakishly determined to freak me out. [cries]
[ponders making a few prank calls of her own...]
SK
The only thing that sustains one through life is the consciousness of the immense inferiority of everybody else, and this is a feeling that I have always cultivated.
-The Remarkable Rocket, Oscar Wilde