The Natural Superiority
of the Left-Hander

One person in ten is left-handed. And every last one of them thinks of themselves as something special.

Which is probably true...

No kidding. Anywhere you look, left-handedness is somewhat of a rarity. Even most climbing plants are right handed. Honeysuckle is one of the few plants that twines to the left. Most flatfish lie down on their left side, making them right-handed. The Pacific Sand Dab is one of the few that lies down on the other side, making it left-handed, or rather, finned. And there are even a few sea shells which curve left-handedly, and are highly prized by collectors.

While lefties have to deal with a right-handed world, if you're rich or important you can ignore all the prejudice. For instance, it never bothered Ramssess II, who is always shown left-handed. And Ben Franklin actually gloried in his left-handedness, writing and publishing a treastie in favor of the left hand. Jimi Hendrix was neither rich or important, but he became both by re-stringing his guitar so he could play it left-handed.

So where does it come from? Is it inherited? Can something as rigorously right-handed as the DNA helix actually transmit left-handedness? (Har) We know if both parents are left-handed 50% of their kids will be as well. However, if both are right-handed, only 2% will be left-handed (That's me! Sweet. Super rare.) There's a high incidence of left-handedness in twins, but it's rare to find both left handed. And, there are more left-handed boys than girls, but no one knows why.

Psychologists are fascinated with left-handers. They're constantly studying them and coming up with reasons not to be left-handed. Some recent studies by psychologists show left-handers to be... Stubborn, over-sensitive, impulsive, and embarrassing to the family. Of course, this goes both ways, since left-hander Joan of Arc was certainly impulsive... it's how she won battles. Although Billy the Kid was most assuredly one of those left-handers who embarrass his family, he is without doubt, the stuff of legend.

Studies go on to say that they also have trouble following directions, have trouble completing projects, and are likely to have speech problems. And how could we forget the suggestion of left-handed devilry, harking back thousands of years, to the time we began throwing salt over our shoulder to propitiate the fiend who -- of course -- always lurks on the left. But maybe the final, and wisest opinion, comes from neurosurgeon Joseph Borgan: "Right handers are a bunch of chocolate soldiers. If you've seen one, you've seen 'em all. But left handers are something else again."

So, everyone agrees that lefties are special.
But are we specially good?
Or specially bad?

To find out, we enter the mysterious world of the human brain: "Looks like the right cerebral hemisphere to me." "Either that or group sex."

Because of the difference in brain dominance between left-handers and right-handers, you might expect to find some differences. Generally speaking, people with a dominant left "Thinking" brain become right-handed. "It seems only reasonable." And people with the dominant right "Feeling" brain become left-handed. "I'm absolutely over-come!"

You might expect a right-hander to be verbal, analytical, and good at math.

... So I unload United Federal in a short position, while recognizing that the amalgamated could crossruff my ITD before uncle Sam got his greedy mitts on it...

And a left hander to be intuitive, mystical, with a strong visual sense.

That's the third time this week he's worn that green shirt.
Which is exactly the case. (It is for me, anyhow.)

In politics maybe this is why cold, heartless conservatives are called right-wingers. "Commie!" And why dreamy bleeding heart liberals are called left-wingers. "Fascist!" Right handers also often tend to think lineally, linking their ideas together in logical order. "Therefore m'lord, whereas the part of the first part..." Left handers are more apt to think holistically, skipping over the details. "Let's string 'em up." Which explains why so many creative people have been left handed.

And most interesting of all, it helps explain one of the more interesting statistics of the Space Age. When NASA went searching for the kind of imaginative, super-reliable, multitalented people they would need to explore the moon, one out of every four Apollo astronauts turned out to be left-handed, a figure 250% greater than the statistical probability. Far from being society's misfits, perhaps left handers are almost a different species... who knows? Maybe we're the next step up in evolution. (Tee hee)

In any case, we know left-handers have always believed themselves to be special.
And in their hearts, they know they're right.



Coming soon:
The World's Greatest Left-handers: Why left-handers are just plain better than everyone else.



On an island where no one lives,
We build a treehouse together.
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This message last edited by Alfheim on 4/28/2004 at 11:36:35 AM.

• Edit 1: 4/28/2004 11:36:35 AM