First off, I have had some...issues...with the ole poop chute. Yeah, aren't you glad you opened this thread. Well, anywho, I went to the doctor and (Yay!) I have hemorrhoids. Woohoo! Nothing says fun like that itchy, burning, bleeding sensation. I was prescribed two things to combat their effects. One, and might I point out that this is awful, is a fiber supplement. Two, and as a straight man I might hasten to expound that this is about as exquisite a hell as imaginable, I need to spend three weeks taking hydrocortisone suppositories every evening before bed (or morning, as I work nights). Joy.

I know that joy... 'nough said, right?

Pissed off about this turn of events, I go home and in an utter youthful act of defiance Bic my head once again. Well, maybe it's an aged act of defiance, because when my head is shaved you can't see the gray hairs. I then shave my face, leaving no hair on my head except my perfectly manicured goatee.

Hmmm, you know... my head hasn't been BIC'd in a while. It might just be time for some more "youthful" defiance myself.

And the caterpillars growing out of my ears that I've been ignoring for so long.

Nose for me, and the fact the my rather bushy eyebrows are now doing everything they can to grow together.

So I'm feeling bitter and old today. I've already complained about my ass and ears, and if you aren't careful, I may kvetch about every ache and pain I can conjure before this day is through.

It was so cold today, I actually felt it in my JOINTs! My ankles, hip, shoulder and knuckles... all the places i injured while playing hockey and football... the places I may be developing some arthritis according to the Docs... I'm only 26! GRRRRR.

I feel your pain, man.


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OF Blog of the Fallen