Two days ago, I was talking to my mother on the phone. She comes off with, "You could have been a good person, if I hadn't messed up raising you."

Now, while this could seem to be a slam on her parental skills, it was most certainly a burn on me When I commented that I really wasn't that bad of a person, she recovered with: "Of course not, I'm not saying you are Ted Bundy, you just have the potential to be." How reassuring (note major amounts of sarcasm)

Then, yesterday, my loving daughter says to me, "Mom, I wish you were an elf, then you'd be pretty."

*blinks* Score: kids 1, mom 0

Nicholas pats my hand and says it's okay, only smart moms are really pretty.

*blink, blink* Score: kids 2, mom 0

We are making plans today to go to an indoor play structure, and I get (from son to daughter) "Do you think mom should take this book?" then (from daughter to son) "I think that one is too big for her to read all the words in."

*sighs*

There are just times you wonder why you get out of bed


Who shot JR? Life, that evil bastard.