I'm interested in what foreign persons/beings/entities think and know about the Netherlands and the Dutch. So here are some challenging questions:

1. What's the first thing you associate with the Netherlands? Flatness.

2. What's the first thing you associate with the Dutch? Liberalism, permissiveness and tolerance.

3. What food do you associate with the Netherlands? Cheese: of the Edam and Gouda varieties

4. Have you ever tried it? Yes.

if yes: Did you like it? Yes, but not as much as a good Cheddar.

if not: Are you willing to try it someday?

5. What drink do you associate with the Netherlands? Beer. More specifically, Grolsch.

6. Have you ever tried it? Yes.

if yes: Did you like it? Not really - Stella's much nicer.

if not: Are you going to drink it someday?

7. What sport do you associate with the Netherlands? and why? The only sport that I know of Holland being prominent in is football (not rowing - sorry!) David Bergkamp, Patrick Kluivert and all that. Is Edwin van der Saar Dutch? I know it's an overtly Dutch name, but he could be Belgian.

8. Have you ever met someone who was Dutch (IRL)? Yes - we used to have a Dutch au pair. She was great.

if yes: What was it like? I really liked her.

if not: Would you like to meet one?

9. Have you ever dated someone who was Dutch? No. But I'm bonded to one - I don't know how close you think they are!

if yes: What was it like? would you do it again? Definitely

if not: Would you like to date one?

10. Have you ever been to the Netherlands? Yes, to the aforementioned au pair's wedding to a Scotsman.

if yes: Did you like it here? What do you remember? Not a lot - I was only 8. We stayed in Gouda.

if not: Do you think you'll ever visit the Netherlands? I wouldn't mind, someday. Can I come and stay with you?

11. Are you Dutch? Nee.

if yes: Why on earth are you taking this survey?

if not: Would you like to be one? I'm happy being 5/8 Scottish and 3/8 English, thank you.

12. How would you describe the Netherlands? Flat, permissive, below sea-level, people shpeak like thish, um... OK I'll stop there.

13. How would you describe a stereotype Dutchman? This is not what I think Dutchmen are like, but this is the stereotype: Gay, pot-smoking, is shpeaking with a lot of sh shoundsh where he is meaning to shay s sounds, and is using a lot of present participles.

14. Do you think I am a stereotype Dutch girl? I've no idea. Can I come and visit you to find out?

15. Do you know some Dutch words? A few.

if yes: give me some! (and their meaning ) It's basically English with bad spelling

if not: would you like to know some?

Thanks for answering all my questions and a good day/night/week/month/year!

Yours, .


You must chop down the tallest tree in the forest with... a herring!


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