After much pondering that led to a completely random and inconsequential insight, I have discovered, at last, the perfect analogy for love. No, love is not like a rose, nor like a peach, nor like that stuff between your toes. Those are all cliche, people. Love, true love, is like a bowl of jello.

*smacks the dude in the back who laughed*

Think about it. I'll go over the points with you.

1. It tastes sweet, and has sugar.

2. It requires some time to sit before you can truly enjoy it.

3. If you don't stir it enough in the beginning, you end up with an icky skin hidden underneath later on.

4. No matter how much you eat, you're never quite full.

5. If you cradle it in your hands it's all right, but if you squeeze, it all slips away.

6. It's hard to explain with words exactly why it's so great.

7. You need the right mixture of hot and cold to make it work right.

8. Most people are first attracted to it due to the jiggling, and they only discover the great taste later.

9. There are many different flavors, and your favorite is a matter of personal choice.

10. Mixing flavors is a good way to get indigestion.

So, there you have it. Does anyone dare to disagree with me that jello is the perfect analogy for love? Surely not.

*gets that lovey-dovey jello feeling*


The only thing that sustains one through life is the consciousness of the immense inferiority of everybody else, and this is a feeling that I have always cultivated.
-The Remarkable Rocket, Oscar Wilde