My Dear Sir,
I have the doubtful honour of having been born in the ancestral home of the Lords Salisbury, don't you know.
My education, through the various stages of private, preparatory and public, was of inestimable value, crowned off by my deliberately snubbing Cambridge, preferring Imperial College. London, where I spent a wonderful six years, culminating in my making an original contribution to the science, and justly awarded my doctorate.
I, unlike you, represent the highest level of refinement, and as any English gentleman must, departed to the colonies to bring some touch of civilisation to the denizens thereabouts.
I therefore have rebutted your scandalous suggestion, and await word from my legal advisors that the necessary damages have been extracted from you, up to and including your being sold into the slave market to raise the required cash, if necessary. Suggestions that we could raise more from the dog food factory were erroneous. Apparently, there are regulations in the EC against adulterating dog food.
[hardens heart against grovelling entreaties]
Druid
The Old Man of Oz
Object of Desire (retired)
The People's Front For Wongy Jnr.
"I blame Alric"