I admit to thinking women should not be treated as substandard. I admit to agreeing with our right to vote, our right to hold jobs, our right to be paid on the same scale as a man (as long as we are DOING the same thing as the man), our right to be equal

I think most people agree with you on that.

However, I get a knot in my britches over this bs from some women. Such as wanting the same pay, even if they are unable (physical strength) to preform the same task.

If they are unable to perform the physical tasks required for the job, they should not have the job to begin with. Yet if they are hired for the job, they should get the same pay. I don't disagree with you, there are feminists out there who do push for a kind of Affirmative Action for women (though it has good reasons, it is not as effective as it should be)

Bah....my aunt is a *shudder* feminist, and while I love her totally, I want to slap the sh*t out of her!

:::shrugs::: I don't know your aunt, so I'd don't know if you're right to want to do that. However, feminism is not a word you should shudder at.

How can such a large group of people be so blind to their own hypocracy??????

I am a Women's and Gender Studies minor. I, personally, do not call myself a feminist, for which I have received criticism by professors and peers. However, I've never really went into detail with them why I feel this way.
A problem many people have with and in feminism is stereotyping. When you think of the word "feminist", maybe words like "radical" or "bra-burner" or "family destroyer" or "lesbian" comes to mind, because those feminists you normally hear of are the outrageous, angry, exceptional ones. I have met many "normal" feminists, ones that simply believe in equal rights, that are simply students with opinions, and have heterosexual relationships also. If you think you are a feminist, don't expect to be treated the same, because these stereotypes towards feminism are in most people's heads.
Feminism is not something to avoid. In fact, considering your thoughts here, you should learn more about it. Take a class, talk with others about feminism, read a book (I'm in the process of one right now, called "Manifesta", only a chapter into it, but it seems capturing). Being a "feminist" or "not a feminist" is a label to the rest of the world, and to yourself, but it is your choice to make.
Above all, be yourself. This label does not change what you believe. It does not change your morals, it does not change your view on life, it does not change YOU, unless you want it to. That decision is yours to make, and regardless of what you believe or who you sympathize, you can call yourself by whatever name you wish. Just because you support the same issues does not mean you are automatically analyzed, classified, and catagorized. It is YOUR DECISION, changeable at any point. You lead your own path.