...throw a weasel at your face. How do you respond? scream then come over and hit you over the head with something heavy

...render you unconscious, dress you in red silk pajamas, and put you in bed with Carrot Top. How do you respond? punch Carrot Top and walk out

...force you at gunpoint...no wait, bananapoint. Yeah, that's it, bananapoint. Let's say I force you at bananapoint to juggle 5 chainsaws over a pit of boiling oil, while threatening to shave funny designs into the fur of your pet poodle should you refuse. How do you respond? eat the banana and give you the pet poodle

...kiss you like you have never been kissed before. How do you respond? Definitely kiss you back

...eat all the potato chips in your house. How do you respond? Buy more chips

...replace your printer cartridge with white ink. How do you respond? force you to buy more printer cartridge

...use Photoshop and make some compromising pictures of you and George Bush to sell to the Enquirer. How do you respond? blackmail George Bush

...hide Chucky dolls randomly around your house. How do you respond? scream and run into the bathroom

...throw random smileys at you like they were ninja stars. How do you respond? throw them back at ya

...arrange for you to have dinner with either Bob Dylan or Michael Jordan. How do you respond? Yay!

...blow up France. How do you respond? cry

...tie you to a treadmill that powers the electrical system in my house. How do you respond? I don't need electricity that badly